BP1000

You fucks took too long. Don't you know how good it is to interact with people who do internets? I love it! I always leave comments on people's sites. Sometimes. If you don't know what I'm talking about right now you obviously missed out on the 999th post.

Anyway, 1000 posts. Good shit. Sort of. Also sort of who gives a fuck though, right? I mean, it's not like I've produced 1000 posts of mind-altering literary gold, or donated 1000 posts to Oxfam. Maybe I should give Oxfam 1000 fence posts and they can make a huge fence in Africa! Why would they need a fence though? I'm not sure. Separate the boys from the girls? Keep out deer. Or keep deer in? Antelopes?

Here we go, bumper post 1000. Or the BP1000 as I like to call it.

Firstly, frazzle your fucking mind with a collage of all sorts of really weird shit that has actually happened. A nurse getting spaghetti poured all over her? The Female Walk. A martial artist with no arms? THIS IS CRACK!



How about some Madeline McCann jokes up next? I resent Maddie because it was her that inadvertently made me lose my job at size? in London. I was reading an article about her on the shop floor and this fat fucking alcoholic dickhead area-manager Matthew Fox found out and decided that it was a fire-able offence. Are you serious? I worked so hard at that god-damn job. If Maddie had just stayed in her fucking hotel room, who knows what path my life would have followed. I could have been the fucking assistant-manager by now!

A. What's rusty, has two wheels, and leans against a house?
Q. Madeline McCann's pushbike.

A. What do Madeline McCann and Submarines have in common?
Q. They're both at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen.

A. What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Madeline McCann jokes?
Q. Madeline McCann jokes will get old.

What next? Do you want to see the dead guy in the barrel? Well tough, you should have acted sooner.

How about some music? Danger Mouse and Jemini have made an album called Ghetto Pop Life, and it's really good.



Furthermore, I would like to announce that I really like Amy Winehouse. You should too, she's about as ghetto as they come and her voice is amazing. Here's a deluxe version of her 2007 album Back to Black.



Amy Winehouse - Back to Black [Deluxe Edition] Disc 01 Disc 02
You're going to need a password to unzip these fuckers. It's 'ultimovicio'.

Okay, I'm going to wrap this shit up now, because I'm getting mildly drunk and I want to go and ride my bike really fast in rush hour traffic.

Images? Images are the lifeblood of Fuck Cunts. Forget all the music and the links to artists and photographers and bullshit like that. The reason I started Fuck Cunts was because of funny images.









BP1000 out. Later, gators.

P.S. What's that? Did someone say Dead Guy in a Barrel?