Thursday, February 25, 2010

Hot Dam!

A bypass bridge is being built at the Hoover Dam. Looks rad. I'd love to go to the Hoover Dam, I'd abseil the shit out of it.


...isn't nearly as pornographic as it sounds. In fact, it isn't pornographic at all. Wait, you didn't think it sounded pornographic in the first place did you. Shit. Does that mean I am fixated on cocks?

You paste in a website address, click play, and it transforms the code of the website into a song. This translates into about 1 and half minutes of fun, and then a very strong feeling of apathy.

Fuck Cunts is as weird and nonsensical as I thought it would be.

You know the world is fucked...

...when you can't trust what you see on TV anymore.

Do you enjoy looking at Fuck Cunts...

...but do not enjoy the fact that you cannot do so at work because your boss/company is fucking uptight and have some kind of filter or ban on websites with mild profanity in their url?

Man, sucks to be you. I was you once, so I know that it definitely sucks to be you.

Chazmazing AKA Chaz-a-ma-tazz AKA Archi-Chaz was in your boat, rowing alongside you, until he put his thinking cap on and found that if he added Fuck Cunts to his Google Reader, and then changed the subscription name to something a little more tasteful, he could enjoy this incredible blog to his heart's desire

I'm not sure what Google Reader is, but hopefully you do.

I've come up with some suggestions of names you could change the subscription to, because I like to make your life as easy as possible, seeing as you strike me as kind of a lazy person.

1. Productivity in the Workplace - The Employee Edition
2. Tree Sap Enthusiast
3. Gifted Nanas
4. The Common Marmoset
5. Firearm Concealment; An Illustrated Guide
6. Monster Rooster

You're welcome.

Have good dreams...

...last night, did you? Nice and warm and fuzzy? Fields of green and chocolate everywhere and you were rich and Christopher Walken was all like, 'hey, you're pretty cool in my books' and then you tobogganed all the way down from the mountain to the beach and your best friend was there?

I'll be having none of that.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010



Wait, something's not right here...

What on Earth are they eating?

It almost looks like...


I sure do love a good cloud

Lucky for me, people like April Cakes enjoy taking photos of them.

"Excuse all the blood"

I love this.

Long story short: Norwegian black metal band Mayhem had a singer. His name was Dead. He was a depressive sort of fellow. One night in the band's wood cabin, Dead slit his wrists, then he slit his throat, then he shot himself in the head.

Pretty excessive, really.

One of his band-mates, Euronymous, found him. Euronymous thought that the best possible reaction to this situation was to quickly go to the closest convenience store and buy a disposable camera with which he could take photographs of his dead friend. On top of this, the band thought that the best possible thing to do with one of those photos was to use it as the cover art for a live album of theirs.

But wait, there's more...

If you are so inclined, here is the album in question.

How does it feel... know that my son Miles is - at only 7 weeks old - already cooler than you will ever be.

It must suck. In fact, I know it sucks, because he's cooler than me too.

I know you don't come here to look at photos of people's kids, but guess what? TOUGH LUCK!

I think I've got a Fever, Ray.

HA HA HA Do you see what I did there!! I turned the name of a band into a sentence! Fuck yeah, ENGLISH!

It's early, and what better to listen to in the morning than Fever Ray. There's probably heaps of stuff better to listen to in the morning actually. Fever Ray are kind of haunting, and might fuck your head up for the rest of the day. Maybe Nick Drake would be better, or I don't know, José Gonzalez?

But I like my head to be fucked up for the rest of the day, so without further ado I present to you, FEVER RAY!

P.S. Remember that video I posted of Fever Ray accepting an award at some thing in Sweden? Still makes me laugh. Why are people from Iceland so awesome? I worked with an Icelandic girl once and she was hilarious. That video (unfortunately) reminds me of Lady GagGag. The only difference of course being that Fever Ray are actually talented, and aren't a huge cunt.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I really love Rat Rods

If I don't own one before I die, I am going crawl back out of my grave and eat brains.

And lets face it, I could die tomorrow, so somebody better fucking give me one because I can't afford to buy one, and you can't afford to lose your brains.

Have I ever posted this photo before? I took it in an abandoned building in Auckland.

I really like it.

My Parents Were Awesome

Something about this site scares the shit out of me. I think maybe it's that one day, Miles will find a photo of me as I am now, riding my bike, or driving my car, or hanging with m'girl, and will go, 'Woah look at Dad when he was my age!', and I wont be his age, I'll be my Dad's age. I'll be old and grey and will have all fucked up faded tattoos and I wont be able to beat him at anything except maybe shitting my pants.

Can't science make a Youth Elixir already? I don't want to get old.

My Parents Were Awesome

Always brilliant. xmarkjenkinsx


Don't give me this, 'Yes some cops are bad but there are good ones too and they have to deal with some really horrible stuff'. Who gives a fuck? They chose that job. Of course they have to deal with some horrible shit, but they chose to do that, and it doesn't validate their generally shitty attitude towards basically everyone.

Yes, there are some good cops. I'm not stupid. But in my experience they are the minority. On the whole, cops are cunts. Just thinking about cops makes me get really really angry. And this isn't some stupid teenage rant where I hate them because Rage Against the Machine told me to. I have many perfectly good reasons why I hate cops. In my life, the police have been there when they didn't need to be, and haven't been there when they needed to be.

If your brother/sister/dad/mum is a cop I'm sorry, but I'm with N.W.A. on this one.