Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I have nowhere else, nor anyone else...

...to vent to, so I'll do it here.

If you're one of those people who feel the need to tell other people how to live their lives, don't be surprised when the other people don't take kindly to it, and want to fuck you up.

Some yuppie piece of shit just felt the need to wind down the window of his faux-riché Mazda 3 as I was riding past and yell 'get a helmet you fucking wanker'. Big mistake you cunt.

Anyone who knows me will know that, like abortion, my opinion on helmets is entirely pro-choice. That aside, I do wear a helmet these days, but not if I am going on a 2 minute ride around the corner to buy a Ham & Mayo Twirl. The fact that I do actually wear a helmet makes taunts from people like today's dickbag even more infuriating.

What is it about a particular breed of Australian male that makes them think they can say or do whatever they want to whoever they want without being challenged?

Furthermore, if you are going to play Mr. Tough Guy Upholder of The Law, play the part properly, and don't be a fucking coward and call the police when the person you just yelled at decides to chase you. And definitely don't call someone a wanker when you have to swap your hands-free unit from your iPhone to your Blackberry to make said call, you Tarocash fuckhead. Next time I see you hopefully I wont have a messed up hand so I can punch through your fucking window and make you eat those hideous Ralph Lauren sunglasses.

Moral of the story: Some people are cunts, some days I hate being alive.

3 comments:

Matthew Uhe said...

the shit is a ham and mayo twirl?

Ian Human said...

Matthew Uhe, don't be ignorant.

A Ham & Mayo Twirl is the greatest of gifts! Delivered unto thee by the Bakers Delightful!

Matthew Uhe said...

oh, those things.

These painkillers have fried my brain. I was imagining a savoury version of that chocoloate bar with a piece of flake in the middle. I's gotta say, it sounded kinda disgusting