It's a tough one to call, this is. On one hand, those young lads shouldn't have been so abrupt and rude to Truancy-bot, and instead could have just explained the situation. But on the other hand, surely Truancy-bot should have been aware that it was spring holiday.

I don't know who this man is, but I can be sure that he is more man than you or I.

Fully.

Matty Blogsticks...

...is a friend of mine who saw the need for a blog dedicated purely to his photography, and you should be glad that he did. Check it, ya greasy cock-farts.

All bands of the world...

...now is the time to lay down your instruments, for the perfect song has now been concocted.

FUH-KING-HELL. This song is so great. It is by CARL FUCKING SAGAN, and it features STEPHEN HAWKING! AND! It's about science! Do you even understand the ramifications of this song? I haven't personally checked his grave-site, but I am fairly certain that Albert Einstein just rose from it.

There are no words...

...to describe how excited I am about seeing this movie.

Now, if I could just find the Church of the Fonz.

I demand to know where this establishment is so that I can frequent it henceforth.

Holy shit I am so confused...

...on one hand, I simply cannot believe that there is a god, because that is such a pathetic notion.

But, if that is true, who put this angel on Earth!?!

Twitter is for self-involved dickheads...

...and these brilliant videos prove just that!

The perfect number of Chefs in the kitchen...

...pretty much sums up the tasty broth that is Only Built for Cuban Linx Pt II, Raekwon's latest album.

If you love the Wu, then you'll love this. If you don't love the Wu, I am afraid that I do not have any time available for you on this Friday afternoon.

Stiff Breeze

This is REAL! Fuck. The state of modern day society, and particularly the corporate nature of every day life and intense amount of advertising contained within it, has even the fruit confused.

Ah ha ha, oh internet, you make me laff. With a dildo. And unlimited iced tea.

Oooohhhhhh the irony. It's so deep. It burns.

WOAH!

Woah...

Woah.

This has to be the worst tattoo of all time!

Le Blogotheque...

...is something I know very little about. What I do know, though, is that they put on these things called the Take-away Shows which are in almost every circumstance, exceptional. Imagine bands like Yeasayer, St Vincent, Sigur Ros, The Black Lips etc etc etc, doing one-off mini shows in someone's house, or some little cafe, to only a handful of people.

I experienced something like that once. Jap-Rock legends Guitar Wolf played a show in Auckland. At the show, my friend's mum asked if they'd like to come play an after-show show in her lounge. They obliged, and in the setting sun, Guitar Wolf tore the shit out of Roy Bell's Mum's lounge, much to the disdain of the neighboring retirement home. You couldn't make that up if you tried.

David Sykes

One shot, no shop. Great.

London Book Review personal ads...

...are the only readable thing in the London Book Review.

But by gosh aren't they readable!

I have no idea if my advert will attract a mate, but I’m very drunk and don’t especially care at this moment. Woman, 43. Aylesbury.
box no. 16/04

The sweet smell of apples in the orchard carried on the warm, gentle breeze. A hushed moan, the curtains swish softly. Slowly my breasts come into focus. The goat bleats. The shackles tighten. And then the chanting starts again. Scary woman, 52, looking for a very specific type of ‘perfect Sunday’.
box no. 16/08

I dream of the day when I can make love to you all (red-haired women to 25) with reckless abandon. Man, 72.
box no. 16/11

i duz NOT lyk baaf tyme.

This image is actually so awesome that I can barely function.

Over the weekend I bought myself some speakers for my house.

How great is that!? Before the weekend, my address was 462 Awkward Silence Way.

One of the biggest benefits I have noticed since purchasing my speakers, is that I can once again wake up, and whilst readying myself for the day ahead, put on some nice, loud jazz.

Some people would call me a wanker for doing that. Go right ahead. I'll eat your fucking dog.

Anyway, so one of the albums I got to listen to whilst ambling around in my underclothes was Miles Davis' 'Tribute to Jack Johnson' album. It's so good. Pretty much anything Miles is good, except when he covered 'Time After Time', and arguably the album 'Tutu' depending on how much you like the 80s, but the two-track-tribute is definitely great.

If you want to be just like me, click on this link, download the album, chuck on some Y-fronts, and just chill the fuck out in your lounge with the volume way up.

OM F AND G!

The internet isn't really real, is it?

For the sake of humanity, I hope that this small corner of it isn't.

Sometimes, art is really awesome...

...as it is in Françoise Nielly's paintings shown a few posts ago.

Other times, not so much.

This artist, Jack Strange, has a piece called 'g', in which a lead ball is placed on top of the letter g on a keyboard whilst a blank word document is open. The letter g is continuously entered into the word document, until the document becomes so huge that the computer crashes.



How does this make you feel?

Andy Kaufman...

...is a bad motherfucker.

Hot fuck...

...this is so awesome.

Everynow and then I think that I'm a pretty cool guy, and then I see a picture of someone who's really cool, and I get a little down.

Françoise Nielly

Wowzers, it's not terribly often that I get really into painting. Or art. I mean, I like it, but it takes a lot for it to really excite me. But Françoise Nielly has totally succeeded at exciting me. Her paintings are just incredible.

If there are any rich people reading this, I'll do whatever you ask if you buy me one of her pieces. Preferably more like the, 'kill my husband/wife' whatever you ask, rather than the 'I'm 77 and I want someone to go down on me' whatever you ask. But you know, beggars can't be chosers.

The internet just produced the most perfect meme known to man.

Man, animals are SLUTS!

These are someone's photos from some festival in the UK.

That is all the information I have at hand.