Dear Kanye West...

Please follow in the footsteps of your stupid bitch mother, and die.

This idiot has allegedly issued a statement to media outlets claiming that he will be taking over the title of 'King of Pop' now that Michael Jackson has passed on.

Firstly, you arrogant cunt, it's not a real fucking title. You can't just say that you are going to take on the title if it's not a real title. Elizabeth Taylor called MJ the King of Pop. It was informal. It was more of a nickname than a title. And someone else GAVE it to him, he didn't just make it up himself.

Secondly, even if it was a real title, Michael Jackson deserved it and earned it. You, Kangay West, cannot even hold a candle to Michael Jackson's career or talent. You make ridiculous hip-pop rubbish, often cashing in on existing songs (Ray Charles, Daft Punk), and your 'raps' are fucking awful, recycled hip-hop clichés, and more often than not don't even make any sense ("...cool down down don’t act a fool now now. I always act a fool ow ow").

"You know everyone loves and respects Michael but times change. It’s so sad to see Michael gone but it makes a path for a new King of Pop and I’m willing to take that on. There’s nobody who can match me in sales and in respect so it only makes sense for me to take over Michael’s crown and become the new King,” said West. “First there was Elvis, then there was Michael, now in the 21st century its Kanye’s time to rule. I have nothing but respect for Michael but someone needs to pick up where he left off and there’s nobody better than me to do that. I am the new King of Pop."

Urgh. Fuck, hurry up and get shot or something, please?

I would give anything to be this confident.

Animals are not permitted in the building

Seems like a fairly reasonable letter. Surely it deserves a reasonable response?

Or not.

Look Around You.

Look around you. Just look around you.





Once again, British comedy outshines anything else on the planet. Using maths, I calculated that this show - Look Around You - is about 45,000,001 years ahead of anything else on TV.

Diplo's work is decent, and he gets paid decently for it...

...but he aint getting paid for this one!

SRYSLY THO! Check it out, and then go buy some other Diplo shit if you haven't already. His Florida album is amazing. Fuck it, if you're rich, just go out and buy this too; he deserves it.



DECENT WORK FOR DECENT PAY

Intense.

Please ignore the first 30 seconds of shitty skateboarding.

So, Silvio Berlusconi has a sex tape.

I don't care what nobody says, we're gonna have a baby.

Seriously though, how can anyone dislike SB? I don't know about his politics, but it's Italy, we know he doesn't really run shit there anyway, AMIRITE?!

So now he's taken a call-girl to his Sardinian holiday home and made a tape of him having sex with her. He's 72; She's 40-something. He runs a nation; She sleeps with people for money. And SB couldn't care less!

This was his official comment when asked about the scandal:

"I'm no saint".

I'M NO SAINT! We'll I disagree Silvio, I disagree.

Man, there is too much comedy in his Wiki page for me to believe that it hasn't actually been hijacked by The Onion.

And check this shit out:


FUCK! I am currently investigating what is involved in finding a piece of land I can apply to be my own country, solely for the purpose of having Mr Berlusconi run it. I am now inviting interest from those who wish to immigrate there with me.

While we're on the subject of mash-ups...

...maybe go and listen to Wicked Wedding. It's pretty ace. Thanks Alex.

Smells like I'm never going to give you up.

Oh I just love NASA so much

Remembering Apollo 11. Just wonderful.

Oh, and as an aside, just in case anyone reading this thinks that the moon landing is a hoax, which I doubt they do, because if you are stupid enough to think that then you probably don't know how to navigate the internet well enough to find this website, but JUST in case, go and have a look at this.

This is fucking amazing

And sorry no, this blog is not part-owned by the Hilton Group. It's just a coincidence she's on here twice in one day.

Talentless jerk-off desperate for attention

I'm not going to mention this usless cunts name, because I don't want to give it anymore air-time than it deserves - and it deserves none - but some painfully hip wannabe ran up to Paris Hilton and snapped an upskirt of her, and a whole lot of people think it's great, including the folks over at Dave's Quality Meat, (assumingly because he's wearing their product, or maybe just because they're brainless).

Now, I'm no Paris advocate - I don't particularly like her, and I don't particularly hate her - but doing this to anyone is just fucking lame, and pretty much flat-out disgusting. How is this in anyway cool, funny, or acceptable? You're being a fucking attention-seeking pervert and there's nothing more too it. The only way this could possibly be acceptable is if instead of Paris it was Lady BlahBlah, and instead of a camera it was a rusty medieval dagger.

If you manage to find this pathetic prick's website, after only a quick read-through you'll see that he's a serious joke. Using slang like 'wilding' and referring to all females as 'birds'. What a fucking prize, his parents must be so proud.

Jump off a cliff please, you're good for nothing.

Which century is this again?

"On Friday July 11th, 2009, Ireland passed the Defamation Bill by one vote. One of the aspects of this bill would make it illegal to criticize religion… any religion under penalty of fines up to 25,000 Euros. That is the equivalent to nearly $35,000."

Ireland passes blasphemy law.

Application for Pity Comittee - Pending

Dear bitchez,

I am currently pitying fools that act shitty in the midst of the calm and witty in NYC.

Thus, FC updates may be sparse up until the 23rd of July.

I'm not sure how you're going to cope. I have had NINETY people visit my blog. That's NINETY lives changed. I hope that at least some of you NINETY! people come back again, and are patient, because when I get back to Melbs, it's going to be a fucking landslide of cool shit up in heres.

Anyway, just be cool, okay?

Love,

Ian.H

Imagine if RJD2 and Blueprint got together to make an album...

How neat would that be.

Imagine if they had already done it twice!

Imagine if clicking the album cover below took you to a link where you could get one of the albums!

Oh man, how cool would it be if the world was just like my imagination...

Damn that's interesting...

The Total Perspective Vortex

"Most people think of the "mentally disordered" as a delusional lot, holding bizarre and irrational ideas about themselves and the world around them. Isn’t a mental disorder, after all, an impairment or a distortion in thought or perception? This is what we tend to think, and for most of modern psychology's history, the experts have agreed; realistic perceptions have been considered essential to good mental health. More recently, however, research has arisen that challenges this common-sense notion."

Interesting reading over at Damn Interesting.

Ahh mother nature, I love you.

Whatever Gavin wants, Gavin gets...

As requested by one of Fuck Cunt's most avid followers, here is a short documentary, and then supplementary reading on the Transorbital Lobotomy.

If you can watch this whole video without feeling slightly ill, then I might suggest that you yourself require a Transorbital Lobotomy. Or, 'Ice Pick Lobotomy' as it is fondly referred to as.



Wiki's entry on Dr. Walter Jackson Freeman II

Oh my fucking god I want this so bad.

Album Review - P!nk's Funhouse (2008)

Shit. If you buy this, or even so much as like it, you're a cunt.

-✩

Ignoring the terrible grammar, I've finally found proof that real humans exist.