Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Are you a Video Artist?

If so, why? Was McDonalds not hiring?

I like art as much as the next guy, but seriously what the fuck is up with Video Artists? Have you ever seen a 'piece' from a video artist that wasn't completely fucking retarded? I haven't.

I remember seeing some video art at a gallery in Auckland. One was a looped video of a guy on his hands and knees facing off with a dog, both just staring at a bone on the ground. Nothing happened. They both just kept staring at the bone. Another was a selection of people blowing up balloons until they popped. Fascinating.

Cinthia Marcelle expended a great deal of time and energy, and probably money too, to create a wonderful piece of video art which sees a fire truck driving in a 'perfect circle' (I doubt it), for 12 minutes, at the same time as shooting water into the middle of the circle. She claims it is "...provoking the image of a fountain in reverse".

I didn't get that. For me, it provoked my head to seek out a pillow.

If you can show me some video art that isn't totally ridiculous, please do so. And if you are a Video Artist, please don't be.


Anonymous said...

I want to be a video artist when I grow up. Your negativity wont derail me, I wont let it, no matter how hard you try.

I thought your acceptance of art had no limits, but it seems it does, a reversed water sprinkler has found your achilles heel. (it's not a reversed fountain, that would be silly)

People like Cinthia Marcelle produce this sort of stuff to test people of your ilk to see if you really are dedicated to art, you've made it clear that you aren't and that makes me sad.

Anonymous said...

im not sure if this is the same sort of thing but its still pretty kewl

Anonymous said...

kewl? It's brilliant, is that what kewl means?

Ian Human said...

I would argue that it isn't a reversed water sprinkler, rather, just a regular sprinkler.

And my acceptance of art most certainly has it's limits, and I'm not dedicated to it at all. My limit with art is simply if it's pretty or intelligent, and thus far, I've not seen any video art that is either.

But don't let me deter you Anon. Hold onto your dream of being the security guard of the art world.

And BLU is definitely not video art. BLU is art that has been videoed. But thanks for trying Anon, your contribution is appreciated!

Anonymous said...

Please excuse me for thinking that your art acceptance had no limits, you could've fooled me. (pretty is such a la-di-da word, but I'll forgive you

I don't really want to be a video artist, I'm aiming to emulate Kenny (the septic tank guy), except as a journalist.

I consider it to be a reverse sprinkler because it is the reverse of an average garden variety sprinkler which shoots the liquid out from the centre in a circular pattern. Where as this sprinkler (it's not a fire truck) actually moves in a circular pattern and squirts the water into the centre.

Just for the record it was an imposter anonymous that posted the youtube blu video.

I should give myself some cool internet name like "FuckHeadOnline" so you don't confuse us anymore. When I get popular on the internet I could branch out onto ICQ, yahoo chat & eventually twitter. I would then have #FHO as my hashtag and people could use it to twitter information about sprinklers, reverse sprinklers, video artists, my brilliance and anonymous people.



FuckHeadOnline said...


Anonymous said...

I once saw a projected face on a mannequin head lying on the ground at an art museum complete with audio. It's basically an actor's face pleading for help with the pleas on a continous (but loooong) loop. Lots of 'please please help me's and 'how did I end up here's. Pretty good.

Hope I gave it a decent enough description. Good luck youtubing that shit.


Anonymous said...

I'm an artist so should probably be disagreeing with you but I don't, entirely, most video art is shit. However most everything is shit. Most Hip Hop is shit, most 'fixies' are shit, most peoples pet dogs are shit, most take away food is shit, most architecture is shit, most photos are shit. You've gotta find the good stuff in all the rubbish there is some great stuff out there, but you are not going to find great video art sitting at your computer. I'm not impressed by you posting a shit piece of video art. I'd be far more impressed if you found the one or three good ones posted them up here and blew our minds with it.

FuckHeadOnline said...

Anonymous, did you not read the bit at the bottom asking citizens to show him video art that isn't totally ridiculous?

While you're busy knocking blog master down, he's out their calling for submissions for his blog.

Come on fella, give us your best, or you best rack off.



Anonymous said...

Yeah, I read the bit at the bottom. But most if not all good video art is contextual and wouldn't translate to a blog/online medium. The last really good piece I saw involved nine cinema quality projectors and a massive circular room. How exactly are you going to post that on a blog?